Monday, April 16, 2012

You Sexy

Dear Men of Baltimore,
Shall we start blaming sunny days and 695?
Honking at me on the beltway and bellowing "you sexy, can I call?" over the sounds of traffic is so tempting...but not.
Keep your eyes in the road, and please remember we women are prizes. You need to have more to offer. I'm not going to react to every person that thinks I'm attractive. Substance, people!
Love always,

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I should've known you'd be back in the spring

Dear Men of Baltimore,
Between me working with kids and being sick, I haven't seen much of you lately. But I should've known you'd speak up again now that the weather is nice.
I'm sure we've talked about this before, but it obviously needs repeating. If your line is telling me you want to be my friend on the side, and this conversation is occurring at a gas station, you really can just keep on driving.
Thanks for offering to help me put air in my tires though. That made you seem way less sketchy.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Sunny Day

Dear MOB,
You've got to be joking... I haven't heard from you in AGES. But on the first true springlike day, you're back.
If you're walking home from the liquor store at 2:30, don't "Hey Girl" me when my car is at a stop sign. I mean, what..."ohh baby, that was such a great line that I'd like to give you a ride home." yeah, no.